I want to apologise to you....its been a long time, and not for lack of trying. If I could show you my drafts page, you would see that it definitely isn't for lack of trying. Or lack of inspiration. Or even lack of words. I have so much to say, so much to share! But I am deliberately holding back at the moment.
And it isn't because I have developed a newly found sense of modesty, privacy or unwillingness to invite you into my virtual lounger for a cuppa. no WAY!
You know I love expressing myself through words and I love sharing parts of my life with others, especially in the cases when I think others will either benefit or relate. Sharing myself is an amazing way to offer out an olive branch, to be vulnerable to my readers and the most wonderful thing happens in return. You often relate and respond with the most incredible support and love. And sometimes sharing my experiences is the thing that allows you to open up portions of your life to me too. All of a sudden, we become aware of a common love, a common struggle, a common grief, a common goal. And through my blogging, I have found I strengthen friendships and relationships.
So when I love it so much, why am I not sharing my moments with you anymore? Well, dear friends, that is because I decided late last year that it was time to write a book. Just like that.
I remember talking about it with a friend around the campfire on New Years Eve. He asked me if I had any NYs resolutions. I told him I'd reach my goal weight this year, after a thousand years of making that as my NYs resolution. (Meanwhile, it might take one more year to achieve that one). And I said that 2015 will be the year I write a book. That by the end of this year, I intend to have a draft manuscript written in its entirety. He asked me what my story was about. I didn't know. He asked me who my characters were. I didn't know. He asked me how I could write a book with no idea of what will happen and to whom it will happen. I didn't know that either.
Over the past 8 months, I've pondered my book time and time again. I finally have a basic story line, a couple of characters and that's about it. But I am writing. I'm just starting on the journey of creating these people and their lives. It's very exciting!
The other exciting thing is that I have decided to enter a writing competition, in the hope that I may win a scholarship to attend a masterclass run by Fiona McIntosh, who is one of Australian pop fictions most successful authors, currently. My submission is due next Friday and the winner will be announced in November.
So I have to write the first ten pages of my book as I imagine it, which has been fun agonising over and writing and rewriting several times already. I also have to pull together a synopsis of the entire story and a one page writers biography about myself. Eeeeeeeeek!
And so, each time i have sat down with the laptop to write a blog, I am tempted to tuck it into my back pocket and keep it handy. Because, coincidentally my leading character is a blogger (what!), and she might need some material down the track further. I am super excited about who she is, and what she does and the crazy workings of her head. I can't wait to share her with you all, and her life and dramas.
Its actually a tricky line between reality and fiction. When you read about her, you will see similarities my our personalities and life, but she isn't me. It's hard, because I'm writing from a base of what I know. And i know me. But I want to enhance her, gift her with different strengths and weaknesses so that she develops her own journey instead of following mine. I am trying to write with her base being familiar and her experiences being new. It's very tricky!
I have written more than the required 10 pages for my larger project, which is my book, my bigger story. I've already included references to funny moments I have heard about or shared. I am wondering as I write it how much I can include from other peoples lives as well, knowing that those who are close to me may be able to pick similar situations, story lines and character personalities to what they already know.
I wonder if it is the same for all writers. I was talking about this very issue with Greg the other day, and asked him to trust me with what I thought I could include and what I thought I would leave private and sacred. He looked at me like he was being asked to pull out all his teeth with pliers. The poor man. Please know that i will be greatly respectful of all of my friends, loved ones and readers. Equally, all of you should know that I will not be trying to send you subliminal messages or passive aggressive points - if you see similarities in any story lines or characters, just know I have included that because I love that part of you. P.S You will not actually be in my book. Its all fictional.
Who's excited? Who's scared? I can't figure out how to actually manage my writing time without something else missing out. So far, if I write in the evenings, I feel like I am missing out on couples time. If I write later at night, I am buzzing by the time I get to sleep and the ideas swirl in my head endlessly, making it impossible to sleep. Yesterday, Ava woke up at 4 and wouldn't go back to sleep until Greg brought her into our bed at 4.30am...at which point I knew I wouldn't get back to sleep. So at 445am on Tuesday, I got up and started writing. It's tricky. But the point is that the writing needs to get done.
So many people say that might write a book one day. Those who are committed to the reality of that, the hard word, the sacrifice (of sleep mostly), the keeping on of keeping on - they are the ones who actually write the books. I am writing a book. :)
Anyway, your patience and ongoing support is greatly appreciated. I will blog if there is something that comes up that I DON'T think I can use in my book, but other than that, this site might just be for the archives for the moment. :( But I promise it will all be worth it.
Oh, and on that note, please share my blog with your friends. I am very close to having 15000 hits to my page, which is AWESOME! Super excited to see what happens in the future, and know I am dying over not sharing with you at the moment. :(
Kicking goals...in my own head.
Ciao for now,
LG - Life's Great!
