Hobby Audition #2 - WATER SPORTS!

Pack the life jacket honey, I'm giving it a go!

Ever since I met Greg he has owned a water skiing/wakeboarding boat. In fact, he is now on his 3rd since I met him, with each boat more beautiful than the next. And when I say owned, he has owned part of these boats. At the moment, we share our lovely boat between us and two other couples...and it works perfectly. If any of those couples owned it exclusively, we would all still be first on the invite list to go and spend some time on the boat, so it makes sense for us all to go in together.

So let me count back the years....I think I met Greg in 2002, and I probably had my first boating experience at early 2003. So that's 9 years that he and his buddies (boys and girls alike) have been wakeboarding around me. And 9 years ago, I decided that it was just too scary for me to try...I could get hurt! Actually, I was more worried about embarrassing myself in front of my friends, and Greg once I fell for him, that I didn't have the balls to give it a go. No way!

And Greg, bless his heart...he accepted me for who I was and never pushed the point. He was happy that I came to watch him and to hang out with our friends, so there was no need to pressure me into something I didn't want to do. But I kinda did want to do it. I just felt that as each year flew by, it was too late for me to do it. How could I be a beginner, trying to get up and they were all advancing so well and riding very capably!

Until Summer 2009 when I threw caution to the wind, bought myself a life jacket and told Greg I would give it a go. Now, lesson number one is this.....if you want to learn something, your spouse is rarely the best teacher. Greg is one of the best wakeboarders in the group, so he knows his stuff well....but ask him how to get up. He hasn't had to focus on getting up out of the water for 9 years, so when he was trying to teach me, he couldn't understand how I wasn't getting it. And I was getting frustrated with him, because I finally got the courage to give it a go and I was not getting anywhere. And let me tell you I gave it an awesome go. I didn't give up...not once. I was Miss Determined. Or The Little Engine Who Could (n't). Greg and my dad ended up calling it a day and I was sacked from board riding for the afternoon. Boooooo.

My disappointment was hard to bear but I still held hope that perhaps Steve would be able to coach me into standing up. He is our boat's natural wakeboarding tutor. He seems to be able to describe it more accurately to someone who has no idea. And when he heard I had tried it without him there, he begged of me to let him teach me, to give it another shot. And I considered it. But then Greg's brother John came to try it, and he couldn't get up either. They called him the submarine. Instead of popping up, he sank into the water further and further each time. It was kinda funny. Poor John! So if John couldn't do it, what hope did I have? So no thanks Steve, I will not take you up on your offer. But lesson number two is this....don't give up after your first go!!!

And so here I find myself in 2012, writing a blog about having the courage to try something you have always wanted to do, about finding a hobby, about just giving it a go. About having a healthy lifestyle, about ignoring old excuses and forgetting your insecurities........

And I also find myself packing for a houseboat trip along the Murray River for a week, from this Sunday. Along with the houseboat that we will stay on, we are also taking our wakeboat. You get what I am getting at, don't you? It is TIME! After I started this blog, Steve was around one afternoon helping Greg do something boat related, and I told him. I said 'Steve, I am going to let you teach me to wakeboard'. And with those 11 words, I committed myself to this extremely exciting (terrifying) cause without any further consideration.

And so, last night as I began packing, I say to Greg - 'Honey, make sure you pack my life jacket this time, I told Steve I'd give it a go'. And Greg says to me 'Bub, we always pack it, just in case you decide to give it a go'. All this time, they were all just waiting for me to come around to this decision myself, but all had complete faith that I would if I wanted to. I love this unassuming inclusion, with no pressure whatsoever!

Oh, and it doesn't stop there....

Steve's brother Micka (also holidaying with us) owns a Stand Up Paddle board which I have been itching to give a go. He is going to teach me how to balance and paddle against the mighty Murray river, and get me well red in the face, I'd say. I hear it's an awesome workout and I can't wait to let you know how that one goes!!!

I can't wait to show you all some pics of my attempts at these new hobbies - no matter how embarrassing they may look. I want to show you that I am committed to having an active life, trying things I have previously been too scared too, and that I no longer care what anyone else things of me (well, am working on that last one).

Because those little voices in my head have quietened down a lot lately and I no longer have them telling me all the reasons I shouldn't do something. I only have myself saying that I want to. And so I will. 

Watch this space kids, the 40kg challenge has only just begun!!! 

See you again on the 19th March. 

 

Ciao for Now, 

LG, Life's Good!

The Charmed Life Strikes Again!

It will all fall into place at the right time....

People have argued why things happen for many thousands of years. They credit God for the good and Satan for the bad. Or perhaps they blame God for the bad too. Or they say the universe has provided to them the very needs that they put out there for the universe meet. Others believe in fate and luck. Some believe you make your own luck in life.

I think I prescribe to all of the above when I consider my life and the way I live it. I do thank God everyday for my blessings, however informal those thanks are voiced. When I look around and see the gifts and blessings in my life, I feel humbled and grateful that I have been seen as worthy for such riches. I am grateful EVERY SINGLE DAY for Greg and Lucy in my life, for my amazing and wonderful family and my very dear and valued friends. I actually am. Not one day goes by when I don't realise it could have been so very different.

I also believe that I expect my life to be a certain way and so far I have been granted such wishes. Is this me putting out to the 'universe' what I want for my future and the universe ensuring it happens for me? I was talking with my mum about this a little while ago. I was saying how lucky we were to have such an easy baby in Lucy. She replied with an interesting observation... that maybe regardless of Lucy's temperament, we would have always thought she was an easy baby because we were simply grateful to have a healthy baby at all, regardless of behaviour, sleep patterns, or crying. That in comparison to others who have a lot less, none of that stuff would have troubled us and we have always thought we were the lucky ones. Hmmmmmmm.

And it's funny as life happens. Greg and I decided well before we got married that we wanted to have some significant time together before we started our family... to do a little growing up of our own before we became responsible for anyone else. I was 22 when we married, Greg 23, so we were indeed just kids in love. We enjoyed those first 5 years, buying a house, travelling both alone and with friends, and just generally living a good life! But when the agreed time came, our plan fell straight into place and all of a sudden we were gifted with Lucy. And this is the part that I feel must be God.... because I can't believe that just setting your mind to something makes it happen. Are you telling me that wanting to fall pregnant, managing to carry that baby to full term, and then having a healthy child, that all just happened because I willed it into fruition? Why is it then that some couples want children so badly and struggle to make that dream come true? Were they not sending enough good vibes out into the universe? I don't quite think that is the answer.

But to some degree, I also believe you create your own destiny or life path, by making your own choices. You aren't just a victim to a life that is happening to you. You can take an active part in it, and should be expected to do so. Speaking of work the other day, I mentioned I enjoyed climbing the ladder, and successfully winning higher positions. These are the moments in my life when I find myself taking an active role - taking control of my career and trying new roles. I have put myself strategically in the right place to be discovered by my next boss, or to make the right contacts for my next workplace each time I have progressed...and I win my roles because I have a reputation I am proud of. So I don't just feel that this is to be credited simply to luck or to God, because I made a lot of that happen. 

I also believe in fate and pure luck. The earliest time I remember feeling lucky was when I won a colouring competition in Kindergarten! I couldn't believe that my picture was the best one!? AWESOME! This was my first taste at winning random things! After that I developed an attitude of 'well, why shouldn't I win it?' and took on Lake Tabourie Christmas holiday bingo with great gusto! Once, I won a minor prize and I chose a massive jar of Vegemite. WINNER! Other times, I made the more economical choice of the meat tray, which I'm sure my parents preferred.

I think it was a mixture of all of these ideas when I got the call yesterday afternoon from a day care centre, telling me I had won the lotto and scored Lucy 3 days, starting the 2nd week of April. The very same week I am due back at work! Oh my stars, I almost danced an Irish jig in my kitchen when I heard this news! Because if you know anything about the current day care situation...it is dire! And believe me, if our mortgage would just pay itself, I'd happily stay home with Lucy until I chose to do something else...but it's back to earning the big bucks for me (at least, I think they are the big bucks). We had been offered positions in January, but had made the choice not to accept because Lucy just wasn't ready yet (neither were we). And with that, we went into trust mode, just assuming that when the time came, something would come up, as it so often has in my life. But as the time drew closer and closer to my supposed return date to work in April, we were becoming more and more anxious about what would happen. And then the phone rang. And our gamble yet again paid off.

But was it luck, or was it my persistent calling every fortnight to show my interest. Was it a logic thing, as I was calling 16 centres each fortnight, so surely one of them was going to come through. Was God looking out for us? Were we honoured for our faith in the situation? Or was the universe paying us our dues of what we expected to happen?

Yet it works both ways....as I then considered who I'd like to blame when the injustices of the world happen. When friends are fighting for their lives, when you lose someone dear to you, when people are persecuted for being different. Surely it can't simply be their bad luck, or God punishing them? I can bet it isn't the universe giving them what they asked for.

I call my life the Charmed Life. It's not to say its all been easy, I have experienced some absolutely devastating and very damaging times in my life that are just too personal to write about here. But I feel that I have been lucky enough to find love early in life, be blessed with a child, put myself in a stable career, and be surrounded by amazing people. I feel like the most bless, luckiest and rewarded girl in the world!

Although I believe in God, I can't say I am on that bandwagon 100%. Because I too believe in self drive, shit happening, and pure luck.

Ciao for Now,
LG, Life's Good!

A Forgetful Wonder

You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached!

Every year on my school report, my teachers consistently commented on 3 things. The first and most common was something along the lines of 'Lauren talks too much in class'. I am pretty sure this has also been indicated to me during work appraisals...within the past few years! Obviously didn't learn that lesson. The second normally stated something along the lines of 'Lauren can be distracting to other students'...meaning that when I was talking too much (see point #1), it was to the detriment of my fellow classmate's education. And when my fellow classmates were trying their best to concentrate, I would be there in the ear, whispering much more interesting stories. Magically though, even though I was so busy talking and distracting, I still managed to pick up enough to pass through school and occasionally even do well, depending on the subject and how interested I was.

These two statements on my reports weren't actually that bad. I tried my best to convince my parents that they were actually qualities that would help me in life. An ability to communicate with many, a way with words, an influential style. But the third statement, I hated seeing that written down again and again and again.

Lauren needs to be more organised. She often forgets her homework, her permission slips and her textbooks. 

Or something to that nature. Year after year after year. And did I ever learn? No! And it wasn't that I had been deliberately rebellious and had decided not to complete any homework...it was actually that I had truly forgotten it was even there. I didn't ever have any kind of excuse planned, because it wasn't until the teacher asked for it that I remembered there was even anything to be done! I actually think that I still have an overdue music assignment, because I just kept forgetting it. Oops!

You know that feeling you get when you ask someone for the time, and then fail to listen so you need to ask again in two seconds? And they look at you incredulously because they had literally JUST told you!? I get that look all the time. Poor Greg (so many of my sentences in my blog start with Poor Greg) gives me this look when I ask him for the 2nd time in five minutes how work was today. 'You just asked me that!?' 'Oh! Did I? I wasn't sure if I had asked it out loud, or if I just thought to ask it.' I called my mum just last month to ask her if she was on the Ghan train holiday she had planned....but she told me, for what was probably the hundredth time, that her holiday was in July and she was simply at the coast. Oops again! The people in my life must suffer terrible frustration.

So, why don't you buy a note book or a calendar so you can write this stuff down, Lauren? I HAVE! I have spent so much money on little pocket calendars, diary's and notebooks, personal organisers, whiteboards, and pin boards....my biggest problem is that then you have to learn to use them! I can't even remember to use my phone calendar properly. Again, I find myself needing to apologise to all who I have stood up over the years, and also to those I have double booked. My apologies, I was born this way and am struggling to change!

It has reared its ugly head recently because Lucy's pram has a few little flaws that need ironing out and I have been putting it off again and again...only to finally realise that I have put it off too long: it is no longer covered by warranty!!! Grrrrrrr! Why oh why didn't I sort it out when I originally noted these issues, back in September. What on earth was I waiting for? A miracle to heal my pram? Someone else to do it for me? Why do these administration tasks seem so scary and overwhelming to me?

I can get up in front of 500 people and sing. I can teach a room of 20 adults for a week and I can write a five day a week blog for all to see. But I struggle to file our household paperwork. I can't stay on top of the important dates in our foreseeable future, and I wish someone else would look after all the forms you have to complete when you want the Government to help you pay for childcare.

But as always, I think the answer is simply to do it. I do feel better when I have done the filing, almost like I require a pat on the back or a little badge that says Happy Little Filer! I do like feeling organised and knowing when I have plans in advance before that reminder pops up the morning of said event. I certainly prefer to have items fixed within warranty time frames. I'm kicking myself for that situation.

But still I resist. Because secretly I fancy the idea of living like a hippy, of throwing caution to the wind and living day to day.  

To those of you out there who enjoy filing, I will never understand you.

Ciao for Now, 

LG, Life's Good!

I Know Best.....You Don't.

The judgement that comes with becoming a new parent...

Years ago, I developed an idea of what kind of mum I would like to be. During my work as a nanny, I saw so many differing styles, that it more grew into a list of what I didn't want to do/be. I didn't want to spoil my child. I didn't want to encourage hurtful or whiny behaviour. I wanted an active child, rather than pass on my previous bad habits of eating poorly and exercising too little. I wanted to teach my child to be resilient, physically and emotionally.

As the years have passed, we have had several close friends have children and we have observed their parenting skills and styles with a keen eye, learning from them so many wonderful things. Like taking the child away from public ears to discipline them, so they don't have to lose face or be embarrassed. Like letting your kids stay up for special occasions, even though they will pay for it the next day. Like teaching your children their voice is important and that we will listen to them, but to not interrupt.

And of course, then Greg and I would talk about how we grew up and what we liked about our childhood and what we didn't. I liked that both my parents have always told me and my siblings how much they love us. They are openly affectionate and vocal about their feelings, and as a result I, too, am very expressive. Greg loves the time that he spent with his parents, learning about the circle of life on the farm, developing his amazing work ethic and determination to do something the right the first time instead of cutting corners. We both love going on family picnics.....but what we didn't realise was this can mean something completely different, depending on which family you came from.

It was several years ago now, on a lovely sunny day...one of the rare weekends when we didn't have anything booked on the Saturday. Greg suggested we pack a picnic and go and find a nice place by the water. In my mind, I had us placed at the Cotter - a family favourite of mine for as long as I could remember. Or maybe Point Hut Crossing? Either way, I was going to enjoy a 30 minute drive through the scenic Canberra outskirts and we would set up our picnic and lie around talking of our future together, cuddling and kissing until our hearts were content.

Instead, we packed our picnic and jumped in the car and hit the road. As Greg was driving this time, he thought he might take me somewhere new so I had to delete above expectations of locations, and wait and see. And we drove and drove.....and drove. Greg took me along winding country roads and we checked out the new wind farm they had set up out near Bungendore (at least I think that is where it was). We kept driving so we could go and see what 'they' (whoever they were) had planned for the mine near Tarago. And then we continued driving because Greg couldn't quite remember how far along the road we needed to go to get to the location he had in mind. To understand the context, you must know that I skipped breakfast that morning, that we had now been driving for at least TWO HOURS and I had expected to have eaten my lunch and be in the spooning position by now on a picnic rug in a shade of a beautiful tree. I did not expect to be still sitting in the car at this stage, looking at one boring country town after the next, ready to eat my seat belt if it didn't end soon!

Does anyone else get cranky when they are hungry? I get cranky and then extremely sarcastic.

G: They are talking about starting work in this mine again.
L: Great. Maybe we can move to Tarago so you can work here....it seems like a happening place. Can't think of anywhere I'd rather be!

G: Now, I can't really remember where the turn off is, so we might have to go this way and see, and what's the worst that happens? We have to come back and try the next one?
L: Yes, lets try all these little turn offs, because who knows where we might end up - in fact, lets keep driving for the rest of the day. At least then we won't have to put the picnic blanket down and cuddle each other!

Poor Greg. Here he was showing me the best sights Australia has to offer within driving range of Canberra and here I was wishing we were already there (2 hours ago!). In his mind, this is what you did when you went on a picnic....you checked out everything that was going on, and you went to investigate all the little nooks and crannies. By the time you got to your picnic, you pretty much only had time to eat and then you came home. Me? I thought he was being romantic. Frowny face. I thought he wanted to lie by the water somewhere for hours on end, discussing all things Lauren and Greg, and playing 'how will we spend our lotto millions'. Actually, he wanted to go near water so he could see if the water flow had risen from recent rainfall. Ah, how our expectations differed so!

It turned out to be a beautiful picnic after all and we both got what we wanted. But this is just one example of how we both thought our way was the best way, and it's the same with parenting.

The best thing about 2011 was that we were among several of our friends and families to have babies. The hardest and most wonderful part of it all, is that we have to resist the urge to compare the babies, or our parenting styles. It is a rich tapestry of so many families coming into play, with each mother and father coming from a different place, with different expectations, and with differing opinions of the importance of each moment. Each of the couples chooses what suits them best, and the other couples are respectful in acknowledging that of course we all work differently. And it's not just because of our own experiences but also because each of our children are completely their own person too.

I'm sure most parents think they have done a great job of raising their child, and wish to share with the world how savvy they are. So within our little group of family and friends, I think we have all struck an unspoken agreement to simply respect each others styles and leave it at that. No one couple is right....we all are right in our own little families, figuring it out as best we can and learning as we go. And I am learning lots from all the beautiful mothers around me, and I hope they learn a little from me too.

As for my parenting style? I am very much a laid back parent. I can't stop watching my daughter all the time and am so proud of all her little achievements. I let her fall when it is safe to do so, and try and catch her when I can see she may hurt herself. I try and let her have free roam of the house now that she is on the go, but block off the rooms I wouldn't like her to play in without me. I feed her all types of foods, but am watchful of her intake to ensure she is getting enough. I let her settle herself to sleep, but if she becomes distressed I go to her and calm her down again. I let her play with almost everything she can reach as long as it is safe and I leave her to her own devices (in our safe house) so I can hang out the washing.

That is the kind of parent that I am. It is right for Lucy. When the next comes along I may need to adjust myself to suit. But what I have worked out here may not apply to anyone else's child, so unless I am asked, I try my best not to advise others. And all the other parents I know are also doing an awesome job for their children. Because all the little babies I know are happy, healthy, active and engaged little people who couldn't be better, even if you tried.

So next time I try to give you unwanted advice, please forgive and forget it. I know you'll ask if you want it.  I just think I've so much to share of all the things I have learnt about Lucy, I occasionally get carried away.
 

My most fulfilled role yet...Lucy's mum. xoxox

Ciao for Now, 

LG, Life's Good!

Entertaining/Oversharing!

Um, that is quite personal, don't you think?

I make friends by telling them my life's story. If I like you, I will then keep you amused with funny little stories of recent events, and amusing memories of times gone by so we can better get to know each other. When you ask me on a Monday morning what I got up to at the weekend, I will always have a story for you. It is rare that you will get a one word answer from me. And along with my stories and memories, you too will normally add your experiences and laughs, and so a friendship develops based on sharing, laughter and honesty. Okay, well occasionally it isn't completely honest....there may be a little enhancement of ones story to make it a little funnier, but who doesn't love a little exaggeration?

So I feel I have always been an open book. If I am struggling with something, most likely you will hear about it. I am not one to internalise anything but I prefer to flesh it out with at least 20 people before I finally figure out the answer to my problem, or find acceptance in a situation I can't change. It's my process of coping. It's why they say communication is one of my strengths. Perhaps discretion and privacy may be my weaknesses? But that is my choice, because normally I am sharing about my own life, my own issues, my own experiences and my own opinions.

I love holding the lime light, making people laugh as I regale them with dramatic events (see blog #3 re getting stuck in revolving door) or the weekend's happenings....like the time I had a girls night in our first home as a married couple. I sent Greg out for the evening and I had about 12 girls around, to eat delicious treats and talk girly stuff. We did facials and our nails, and of course had pillow fights in our underwear (yes boys, that really happens - please read in my most sarcastic tone). And as the night continued on and drinks were had, one of the girls revealed she had recently become a piercer. Is that what you call someone who can pierce people, in their ears, belly buttons, nose and anywhere else you might choose? That night, 11 girls got some kind of piercing done. And much to our horror and amusement, Greg came home right at the end of the shenanigans, as Evelyn leaned over me on the bed, and all the girls were crowded into our bedroom like a little private show....'What the hell is going on here!?' Cue all girls to dissolve into giggles and try explaining our way out of a sticky situation....'Oh no Greg, it isn't what it looks like. She is just piercing Lauren's belly button! We all got piercings tonight' - cause clearly that is the better option??? Ah, my piercing party. Fun times!

It isn't really a surprise to many who know me that I am so frank and honest in this blog of my life, because I simply am this way in person anyway. I suppose the only difference is that in person, I can choose to tell you these stories or not. I can choose to get to know you, or I can choose not to share myself with you. But the blog shares regardless. Obviously, I don't mind or I wouldn't be writing such intimate details.

Yet, even I have my limits. You won't hear me talk on this blog about a decision I made that has had a great burden to bear. You won't hear me discuss losing the most precious family member who we didn't have long enough with. I will never share with you about the intimacy's of the bedroom, or about the parts of my past that I believe are someone else's fault, or how I struggle to forget those who have emotionally hurt me for many years. The reasons that I don't tell these stories are because they don't just belong to me. They are also the stories of those I love and I don't own the rights.

So even though it seems to be a tell all exclusive on my life, there are limits to what is too precious to my heart for the entertainment of others. I have my own standards to uphold. But often as I post another honest and completely open blog on my feelings, my experiences, or my life generally, I smile because I am sure so many of you out there may be reading along slightly incredulously, that I have yet again let it all hang out for the world to see (read!). Friends and family have commented on my blog, calling me courageous and brave. I laughed. I am simply sharing with the world the stories, ideas, experiences and memories that I think will be entertaining, that I want to talk about!

Because I have come to a point of realisation in that people judge me already, whether they know this stuff or not. Perhaps this is a way to become more understood. Perhaps I just enjoy writing about myself, because I feel I have a lot to give. And maybe I know others out there will benefit from my honesty, will actually be grateful to know that someone has felt the same way, that there is someone speaking their truth too. So many people have reached out to me after I have posted a blog, thanking me for understanding what they have been through. Many people have even asked me if the blog may have been about them? I can tell you most blogs are about me and what I have discovered and feel I need to share with the world.

If my blog has people talking about their real issues, then this blog has already achieved more than I could have possibly hoped. I actually just wanted to tell a few stories and keep an online journal of sorts in the beginning, about my quest for a hobby and about life in general. If people are braver because they see they are not alone, or they see me trying to be courageous too, then I am delighted! And if people realise that there own insecurities, fears and embarrassments can be forgotten, forgiven, and conquered, then we are all in this together.

 

Sharing is caring, right? 

Ciao for Now, 

LG, Life's Good!