Let me tell you about the time I got stuck in a revolving door....

Oops, she did it again!

I was 3 months pregnant at the time, working a Saturday to do photocopying that should have been done by our admin team, of which had been delegated to other work. We had 5 interstate training days the following week and I was printing up the 80 training manuals that I would then take home and take to the airport with me on Monday morning. Man, I was tired. And after 4 hours of photocopying and binding I was well and truly over it, and so looking forward to heading to Greg's cousin's engagement party, where he was already waiting for me. So I packed up all the manuals onto a little trolley and wheeled them out of the office towards the entrance of the building.

My back was hurting. I was feeling slightly lightheaded as I hadn't eaten in FOREVER and I was cranky because I had told my colleague not to bother coming in to help cause it wouldn't take too long. So I hadn't really been thinking clearly about which entrance I should leave through (there are two, one which is guarded, and one which is not) but as my back was hurting and I just wanted this part of the day over, I went logically to the one closest to my car. The non guarded entrance. Once I got to it, I was dismayed to find that the disabled door next to the revolving door was in fact disabled over the weekends, so my easy access to the outside world wasn't going to be as easy as I thought. 

A flippant thought came and went with such haste I didn't even give it any further credit... I should have, for that tiny little ponder was 'maybe go to the other entrance?'. Pft! Screw that for a joke, I wanted outta here! So with my ever famous attitude of 'She'll Be Right', I pushed that trolley straight into the revolving doors with gusto. As we slowly revolved around to the exit on the other side my trolleys wheels got jammed, I was pushed up hard against it, and promptly the door stop revolving. Honestly, there was no shock or surprise to me that this happened. But now what!? Then to my embarrassment I remember that the guard at the other entrance has a CCTV view of me (and my trolley loaded high with 80 effing folders!), and then to my even greater embarrassment I hear that very guard over the intercom say 'Miss, are you hurt?'. 

Have you ever seen me get embarrassed? I go very red in the face. Then, because I can feel the flush, I go ever redder. To the point where my head no longer resembles a human head and now looks much more like a red hot air balloon that is full to the brim with air and may start rising off the ground at any point. My eyes start watering and my neck feels left out so it starts glowing too. And then normally once I have reached my most hideous climax of red faced embarrassment, someone will point it out by saying 'Oooooh, look how embarrassed she is! Lauren, you have gone all red' and then KA BOOM! My head explodes! 

So this was my state when I got stuck in the revolving door but used every effort to pull myself together, thank the guard as graciously as I could with a beetroot on top of my body and hold my head high as I walk off. I got 3 steps away, my trolley (which now had a shonky wheel) buckled and 80 participant's training manuals were thrown all over the grown and started to blow away in the wind. 
 
Lovely guard trying to hide his smile: "Here miss, let me help you."

Me: Ka BOOM! 

And this is why the thought of trying something new that may possibly end in embarrassment, be it a hobby or a new occupation scares the bajesus out of me. 

Trying to be a Pirate Wench only ended in embarrassment too - but story is for another day

Ciao for now, LG Life's Good!

The power of truth spoken

What's the worst that could happen?

It must be said that when my friend Wendy spoke my truth during our holiday it was said with great love, care and longing for me to realise my greater potential that she clearly could see. But it's not surprising that when something hits home and you know it to be true, often your instant reaction is denial, offence and anger. Why?! Cause God forbid they have seen the dodgy scheme you have been running for some time now, a cover story so you don't have to deal with whatever your truth is? Why is it so hard to be honest and transparent these days? 

I have always fancied myself bold, perhaps even a little brazen. I always been brave to ask the hard/personal questions such as 'so, do you wax?' and 'can you tell me what you think this is?' (pointing to something unattractive). But actually I'm not. Not at all. Most of the time I fit in with the rest of the world...and conform to the PC nature of not saying anything at all. Anything that actually matters is often left unsaid. 

My weight has long been my biggest issue (no pun intended). But only one person has ever been brave enough to tell me of their concerns for my health. How often do we give smokers shit for how they are treating their bodies? Why do we feel okay to question them on their destructive habits, but only ONE person has felt comfortable discussing my destructive behaviours with me. Yes, it hurts to talk about... (shit! They're onto me!) but it was actually good to hear and an honest communication now exists. 

Do I want you all to tell me what you think I need to hear? Yes!!!! I will tell you the home truths I have discovered about myself before you start so i can shorted the list. 

1. I need to stop being scared of how I will be perceived 
2. I need to stop using my obesity as an excuse and start DOING
3. I need to start singing again
4. Yes, I am very much loved and supported and in turn I love and support you too
5. I need to treat my health as the gift it is and protect it with everything I have...it could be taken in the click of my fingers 

Okay now you can add to it. Honestly, what is the worst that happens? This is not me being morbid and asking for a barrage of personal attacks. This is not me asking for a plethora of compliments either. If there is something on your mind and you think I would genuinely benefit from hearing it...just tell me. Happy for you to post your comments on this blog to, cause it would be interesting for my other readers to see the journey. 


I wish that someone had pulled me aside 10 years ago and said "I can see that you are getting fat. You are not naturally a big girl - you are actually a string bean hiding in there! If you let it continue your body will be covered in stretch marks, and if you eventually lose your weight, your body will be left with floppy skin. You will fall over due to your increasing lack of coordination that comes with weight gain and when you fall it will be hard and heavy. You are well loved, beautiful and you can sing! So go out and find a hobby that you enjoy that doesn't centre around eating and don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Oh, and STOP SPENDING ALL YOUR MONEY!"

 Me and my cousin Rose thinking we were the shit (approximately 9 and 11yrs old?) Underneath my hot overalls, I am a skinny girl.

And don't get lost in this being all about weight loss. If you are thinking that, then you have missed my point. When Wendy spoke the truth that I didn't want to hear the other day, it was about me finding myself again, doing something I cared about, and not wasting my career just for love of money. The point is - I needed to hear it and it has created a change in me to make my life more fulfilling, interesting and satisfying. 
So perhaps this has you pondering...maybe there is someone you need to talk to. I suggest you grow some balls and ensure your talk is coming from love, compassion and support and just do it. But also take a good hard look at yourself. Maybe you are now in fear of someone giving you a talking to? 


Get out there and speak your truth. I will try and do this more too. After all, what's the worst that could happen? ;)


Ciao for now, LG Life's Good!

What's the point?

The catalist for change

So, we were holidaying at the coast to welcome in the new year and my good friend said to me abruptly "Lauren, you need to do something. What are you doing with your life? You need to find something you are interested in and do that. Why are you in a job your aren't happy in? Fix it."

How's about shut up?!

Well, that was my initial reaction... bloody judge my life! But what I have learnt over the many years I have now known Wendy; she speaks the truth even though it often comes like a punch in the throat. Her comments got me thinking and she was right, as always.

For a long time now, I have made my life about my husband and through no fault of his. In fact, thinking about it now perhaps I could even lay the blame of my lack of Lauren-ness at Wendy's feet - it was she who leant me the book 'His needs, Her needs' in the early days of my relationship with now darling husband. Desperately wanting to meet my mans 'need for a companion' that I participated in watching all his activities with such enthusiasm that I actually morphed into a groupy of sorts. A groupy who's hobby is being a follower in someone elses life. The old identity crisis some might say, although perhaps it has come a little earlier than expected? Certainly, you couldn't call it 'midlife' when I am a spring chicken of only 28!

Why the Blog? What's the point of it?

So, I have started this blog so I can jot down my thoughts as I figure out how to redefine myself as my own person, and not only as Greg's wife or Lucy's mum (which are both cherished and wonderful positions to be), or a bored public servant who wants more out of life but doesn't know where to start.

I hope my journey brings many revelations and exciting challenges, and if you'd like to read along I'd love to share with you. Here's a pic of me enjoying the many benefits of Greg's wakeboarding hobby, and loving our family time on the boat. 

Oh, and I wouldn't mind hearing from you if you have any suggestions for me re finding my inner Lauren again. Please note, have already ruled out doing a show. I just cannot invest that time atm.

Ciao for now, LG Life's Good