It must be said that when my friend Wendy spoke my truth during our holiday it was said with great love, care and longing for me to realise my greater potential that she clearly could see. But it's not surprising that when something hits home and you know it to be true, often your instant reaction is denial, offence and anger. Why?! Cause God forbid they have seen the dodgy scheme you have been running for some time now, a cover story so you don't have to deal with whatever your truth is? Why is it so hard to be honest and transparent these days?
I have always fancied myself bold, perhaps even a little brazen. I always been brave to ask the hard/personal questions such as 'so, do you wax?' and 'can you tell me what you think this is?' (pointing to something unattractive). But actually I'm not. Not at all. Most of the time I fit in with the rest of the world...and conform to the PC nature of not saying anything at all. Anything that actually matters is often left unsaid.
My weight has long been my biggest issue (no pun intended). But only one person has ever been brave enough to tell me of their concerns for my health. How often do we give smokers shit for how they are treating their bodies? Why do we feel okay to question them on their destructive habits, but only ONE person has felt comfortable discussing my destructive behaviours with me. Yes, it hurts to talk about... (shit! They're onto me!) but it was actually good to hear and an honest communication now exists.
Do I want you all to tell me what you think I need to hear? Yes!!!! I will tell you the home truths I have discovered about myself before you start so i can shorted the list.
- I need to stop being scared of how I will be perceived
- I need to stop using my obesity as an excuse and start DOING
- I need to start singing again
- Yes, I am very much loved and supported and in turn I love and support you too
- I need to treat my health as the gift it is and protect it with everything I have...it could be taken in the click of my fingers
I wish that someone had pulled me aside 10 years ago and said "I can see that you are getting fat. You are not naturally a big girl - you are actually a string bean hiding in there! If you let it continue your body will be covered in stretch marks, and if you eventually lose your weight, your body will be left with floppy skin. You will fall over due to your increasing lack of coordination that comes with weight gain and when you fall it will be hard and heavy. You are well loved, beautiful and you can sing! So go out and find a hobby that you enjoy that doesn't centre around eating and don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Oh, and STOP SPENDING ALL YOUR MONEY!"
Me and my cousin Rose thinking we were the shit (approximately 9 and 11yrs old?) Underneath my hot overalls, I am a skinny girl.
And don't get lost in this being all about weight loss. If you are thinking that, then you have missed my point. When Wendy spoke the truth that I didn't want to hear the other day, it was about me finding myself again, doing something I cared about, and not wasting my career just for love of money. The point is - I needed to hear it and it has created a change in me to make my life more fulfilling, interesting and satisfying. So perhaps this has you pondering...maybe there is someone you need to talk to. I suggest you grow some balls and ensure your talk is coming from love, compassion and support and just do it. But also take a good hard look at yourself. Maybe you are now in fear of someone giving you a talking to?
Get out there and speak your truth. I will try and do this more too. After all, what's the worst that could happen? ;)
Ciao for now, LG Life's Good!
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