I think I have been a quitter for much of my life. As a kid/teenager I took piano lessons, jazz ballet (off and on), clarinet lessons, joined a marching band, did singing lessons, swimming club and started up several other hobbies I thought I'd like but didn't. Like going to the gym. But that's for another day. Anyway, I gave up a lot of these activities because I didn't want to put the hours of practise in that was required of me. I'd rather play with the kids in my street, read a book, watch TV, anything but do my practise. I also had this approach to homework. Although, whenever I completed something that I put some effort into, I felt a great sense of reward and often achieved pretty good results.
My quitting habit has carried through into my grown up life, and can be seen in many different lights. I can't tell you how many appointments, coffee dates, dinner plans and/or social events I have quit (cancelled, not turned up to, couldn't find the energy to get to) over the years. And please, for those reading this who I may have cancelled on once or 500 times during our friendship, take note: it is not you, it's me. I simply can't get out of the house some days. I don't know whether its because I mentally don't have the strength, or if physically I am fatigued, but sometimes it is all too hard.
And don't even get me started on all the crash diets, exercise programs, gym memberships etc etc etc.
So, immediately after I posted my blog last week, I regretted telling you all that I was planning to try Zumba! After I posted that blog, I thought to myself "well, now you can't get out of it!". Because honestly, the old me would have made any excuse in the book to not go. I couldn't go because of Lucy. I couldn't go because Greg needed to work late. Because I was tired and hadn't slept a wink in the past week. Because I didn't have appropriate clothes. And so on.
But the new me was honest. I told you what I wanted to do. And I was actually looking forward to it! This is one of the more obvious results of my hypnosis for a healthy lifestyle. The peace in my head once I decide to do something is bliss. The excuses don't run thick and fast anymore. And I actually look forward to my new choice, rather than shy away from it.
So all day yesterday I was busting with anticipation... what would it be like? Now, as I mentioned previously, my sister in law KJ is the instructor, so I couldn't slack off! It wasn't just some random class where I knew nobody. I had to do my best! In my excitement, I turned up too early and had to sit in my car for 25 minutes waiting for everyone else to arrive! Oops!
And you know what? For someone who always just assumed they had lost more grace and coordination with each kilogram gained, I owned it! I couldn't believe how quickly and easily I could take up the steps. In fact I was delighted that as I moved, my love of dance came flooding back. And I just listened to the music and got my groove on. I felt hell sexy, shaking my hips and stepping it out with shimmys and grapevines! And the best part of the whole thing!? There were no mirrors to show me what I really looked like, so in my mind I was the perfect reflection of coordination and skill that KJ displayed. I WILL be going every week, it is so enjoyable to just forget everything else, focus on the body and getting it moving in ways it hasn't for ages.
And I am just so proud of myself. Since KJ started up her Zumba classes early last year I have always said I'd like to go but haven't. And I had quite valid reasons (being pregnant, not being able to walk etc). But since I had Lucy and got my strength back, I have never been quite brave enough to just go. So I want to thank my blog readers. It isn't that anyone actually suggested Zumba. But I feel that by writing about my challenge in finding something for me to enjoy, I have been able to really remember what I enjoy doing and how I could use that today. It wasn't until writing this blog that I remembered I used to enjoy dancing. I had forgotten all about my ability to move, the rhythm in my bones, the beat of the music that makes me groove. And the fact that you guys are still reading along just encourages me further to be more and more honest with you about my struggles and my achievements.
So if there is something that you want to give a go, but haven't had the balls to do so yet JUST DO IT! I hope you can understand that overcoming your fears provides so much satisfaction, so much joy and pride that it is well worth it. Even if you don't enjoy the very thing you want to try, just giving it a go will do you the world of good.
Yesterday on some daytime TV show I heard a man talking about self-esteem. He said that people become smaller or bigger in their own eyes depending on how they live life. And if you do a few things each day that you would want your 'better-self' to do, you will grow in your own eyes to become more and more the man/woman you want to be. If you wished you were a cleaner person, doing the vacuuming will help you to respect yourself more. It is a small task, yet you will like what you have done, and you will be a cleaner person that day. (I need to vacuum today!) If you want to be fitter, going for a walk will increase your image of yourself becoming a healthy person. And if you want to be brave, trying the very thing you have been putting off will allow you to believe in yourself and know that you have given something new (and scary) a go. You will probably end up happy, inspired and excited to go again!
So tell me what it is you have in the back of your mind, be brave enough to name it publicly. Then go and do it. Use the public admission as inspiration, and come back to report what you have achieved! You can do it!!!
Ciao for now,
LG, Life's Good!
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