Hey Parents...Don't Forget Your Relationship!!!

Taking some time back....

Greg and I have been together for 9 years this May and we have had some absolutely wonderful times. And some tough times too. But mostly, we have cruised along through life with ease. Ease with each other, ease with the wider world, ease with our life. It isn't hard for us to be together. We agreed on a lot and pick our battles strategically when we don't. It works in our favour that we are both almost as laid back as each other, because we don't sweat the small stuff, mostly because we couldn't be bothered with the toothpaste/toilet seat/hanging of clothes argument. Over the 6 years we have lived together our roles have formed and mostly we are agreement of them. I particularly like our renovating roles. I pick colours and occasionally suggest ideas, whereas Greg states what we need, and considers all the details that are required for it to happen. Oh, and he does most of the hard work too. Perfect.

We got used to living as a couple, and while we have had the occasional house guests who temporarily stayed with us, it always returned to us. The 2 of us living in our precious little bubble of happiness, comfort and easy laughs....mostly at each others expense.

So when Lucy moved in (Greg tells me this is an off way of putting it) it took some adjusting to our couple becoming a threesome. Instantly we loved it, but over time we noticed there would be moments when we realised we still hadn't got used to (insert baby activity/property/toys/noise here). We couldn't contain our excitement to bring Lucy home and show her around. We'd tell her 'here is your fridge Lucy, here is your lounge, and this is your backyard'. Everything that was ours of course became hers.

The first night we were home with her which was her second night on the outside, we put her down and fell into bed ourselves. We had been running on adrenaline for the past 48hours and no one had slept properly. I hadn't slept for 72 hours so I was well tired and when my head hit my pillow I was immediate out to it. I'm not sure how long I slept, but I abruptly woke to her cries in the night and jumped out of bed (a move I wouldn't advise after giving birth so recently) most upset. Not upset because I had been woken. Not upset that she was crying. But upset because I, in my sleepy exhausted state, had completely forgotten about her existence! 'OMG Greg! I forgot we had a baby!!! How long has she been crying for?!' And so it begun. My sleepy awareness of Lucy in our house.

And I wasn't just aware of her in our house. I woke up every night either sleep talking, or physically searching for her in our bed and our room. In frantic whisper I would say 'GREG! Is Lucy in bed with us!?' I can't count the amount of times I had dreamt she was caught under our covers, or the amount of times I'd be patting Greg down to try and find her (lucky man). One night, in my sleep, I thought I had found her and tried to lift her up under her arms so I could take her off to her bed. But I woke with frustration, and it took me a second to realise that the reason I couldn't lift her wasn't because she was really heavy, but because I was actually trying to lift Greg out of bed while he was sleeping soundly. Poor Greg. This continued for at least 6 months straight...every night without fail. I am finally sleeping a little better now, although I still freak out occasionally.

At almost a year old, we have just started to leave her to be babysat...which is a blessing for not only us but also for whoever gets to spend that time with Lucy. Before I had her, I thought that I would be able to leave her a lot earlier than I have, but with breast feeding and such a deep connection to her that I hadn't expected, it has only just become possible. To be honest, I didn't really ever want to be without her before. I still don't. But I have found it is good for both of us to have some time apart, she has fun and I get some me time.

But I have grown ready for some adults only time again. Our life for the past year has been Lucy centred, and so it should have been. She deserves that and we wouldn't have been able to do anything else. But as Greg and I watched How I Met Your Mother last night, curled up on the lounge after Lucy had gone to bed, we watched these friends (who are very similar to ours) get together at their local bar and just enjoy themselves, and for the first time in a long time, we longed to be with our friends, sans Lucy. Sans all babies. For one night only, just be together and have conversations that aren't about our children. To drink too much, tell stories and laugh loudly without the worries of baby monitors, being quiet for the sleeping bubs, or cleaning the bottles for tomorrows feeds. Without soaking bibs. Without sorting out the Child Care Benefit/Rebate. And without it being all about Lucy.

A selfish moment in time, I'll admit. And please, don't misunderstand this - nowhere in this moment was there any resentment or regret for our daughter that we chose after 5 years of marriage to bring into this world. Who we love with more emotion we thought possible. For those who know me or read this blog, you also know how devoted I am to my Lucy, how all consuming my love for her is. No, not resentment or regret.

But even though we have a baby, we are still here as people, individually Lauren and Greg, not just Lucy's mum and dad, although those positions are very precious. A simple yearning for our grown up lives to continue because we are still grown ups. The lives that allow us to hold intelligent conversations about things other than the colour/texture/smell of Lucy's poo, or how much she has eaten that day, and how many times she woke up last night.

She is the best, most exciting thing to have ever happened to us. And I feel mothers guilt for writing this blog today, because I would hate for your to misunderstand what I am saying. My love for her is all consuming, and my devotion to her is never ending, and her novelty will never wear off. I am no less the mother I was yesterday, and no less interested in her. When we became a family, our little threesome was perfect, and still is. But we have come to realise that while she is still the best and most exciting thing in our lives, that we also need other interests too.

Greg and I have a relationship that existed pre-Lucy. And she is a result of the love in our relationship. And it is important to me to maintain our relationship by investing time into it. Caring for Greg is just as important as caring for Lucy (although, I'm not going to be changing his pants any time soon!), and I feel that it is now time to make sure we spend some time together when we get the chance too. And allow Lucy to have fun with her family and friends and have an afternoon off from us occasionally too.

The love I have for Lucy and Greg can't compare. I love them both more than life itself. I loved Greg as a friend, then fell in love with him. And I never want there to be a time when he is not mine, and I am not his. The love I feel for Lucy blinds me against everything else. She was created by us. And I love Greg all the more for giving me the gift of Lucy.

But Lucy will grow up and leave our nest one day soon (it feels like it will be soon anyway...this past 12 months has flown by all too quickly!) and it will return to just me and Greg. And I want to know then that we love each other just as much as we do now, if not more. And that doesn't just happen. Because our relationship cannot be forgotten in the wonder that is Lucy and the seduction of making our lives all about/ and only about her. I want her to grow up seeing her mother and father not only giving their time to her, but also prioritising time for each other, and remembering to care for each other as a couple, aside from the fact that we are her parents.

So we are looking forward to some time spent together as grown ups in the future. Time where for just a few hours, or perhaps maybe even a night, it is about Greg and I again. Whether that's with our friends pretending to be as cool as Marshall, Lily, Barney, Ted and Robyn, or as a couple just enjoying each others company.

Of younger days gone by.

Ciao for now,

LG, Life's Great!

Just Waiting For Bad News.......

It can't always be this good.......


I've had a feeling of dread since Saturday morning when Lucy woke at 4am and cried for 90 minutes without relief. Rivers of snot poured out her little nose and she screamed even harder each time I tried to wipe it away. Poor little munchkin just wanted to sleep but couldn't breath through her nose. I did what I could and eventually cuddled her enough to calm her down and at 5.30 she finally drifted back off to sleep. Now Greg has been pulling some big hours this past few weeks helping out a mate and had planned to get up at 6am, instead he got up when Lucy went down. I worried that he would be too tired to make it to work safely, and too tired to make it home at the end of the day.


I got a message from him when I woke up - 'call me as soon as you wake up'. I don't know about you, but when I see something like that, I expect the absolute worst. My heart skipped a beat and I could dial his number quick enough. 'Honey, are you okay!?' 'Yeah, I need you to pick up something from work and bring it out at lunch time'. Bloody hell! And from that moment onwards, I was just waiting for something awful to occur.


It was one of those days, when you think about how lucky you have been lately and how you really should be due for some bad luck soon. Isn't that a shocking way to feel. Occasionally I will have days like this, when you just can't shake that horrid feeling of doom and gloom. Waiting for something horrendous to happen. Looking for things that you are sure are lurking just around the corner.


I have trouble seeing our future. And I don't mean in a psychic kind of way.... more in an imaginary kind of way. I use to dream of a house, a husband and children. And I have that, so perhaps I am not sure what to dream of next. And I have wondered if that could mean I may not have a long term future, that for some reason I am not destined to be here forever. And no, I am not depressed or suicidal, nor am I wishing this upon myself (thank you universe believers). I just have never imagined our life beyond the next 5 years or so and sometimes I wonder why I can't see it.


So with this tragic state of mind in place, I felt very grateful to get through yesterday safely and have no horrid news delivered. But I was still feeling a little cranky today, unable to shake this cloud of mild anxiety off my shoulders. It should have been a happy day. I had Greg home with us for the first time all week, we did a big shop at Costco (yay!) and Lucy was off to spend the afternoon with her uncle and auntie for a play, which meant that I had Greg all to myself. My brother and his girlfriend came and picked up Lucy in my car and off they went. And in true romantic style, Greg and I hit the bed immediately after Lucy left like any parents of an infant would....to sleep. Poor Greg had been pulling ridiculous hours all week, and I was tired from acting as a single mother all week (I don't know how you girls do it). So we cuddled up under the covered and crashed the moment our heads hit the pillow...only to be awoken very rudely by a knock at the front door not half an hour later.


Our first thought was shhhhh, don't move. We didn't care who it was, they were not going to interrupt our second afternoon alone together in almost a year. No way. And as they walked down the stairs, Greg peeked and got quite the surprise. It wasn't any friends or family of ours, not neighbours or do-gooders or salespeople.


It was the police.


Tell me what you think when you see the police in your front yard. Well, I'm not sure about you but my first thought was of Lucy. And my second was of my parents, who I know both have me listed as a contact in case of emergency. They left as quickly as they arrived, before we got a chance to get to the front door. And we were left wondering........why had they come.


We are law abiding citizens. We have no reason for them to visit out of the blue. We hadn't done anything wrong lately (ever). All I could think of were worst case scenarios. Mick and KJ had been in an accident with Lucy. Something had happened to Mum or Dad. What if it was news of Greg's parents. My heart was in my throat and I felt like vomiting.


So I thought I'd alleviate my stress by sending a quick message to my brother to make sure all was well. After 10 minutes with no response, my nerves got the better of me so I called his phone. Message bank. Doing my best to calm my pounding heart, I called KJ. Message bank. Just as I was about to call her business phone, Mick called me. And I have never been so pleased to see his name flash up on my phone. No problems, all was well, they had been playing with Lucy and she was doing great. Far out!


Greg had told me not to worry, that either the police had the wrong house or they were here for something else mundane. KJ called me a little while later to see if I knew why they had come. And you know what she said to me as we were discussing how scary it had been. 'Oh, hold on Lauren. Your mum has just turned up at our house with a box of tissues.....oh no. I'll go and find out what is going on.' And an excruciating few seconds passed when I felt my life being turned upside down by a host of imaginary dramas. And then I got an answer........'Oh no, its a book, not tissues! You're mum is fine!'


Bloody hell!


Talk about being on edge. All this waiting for something awful to happen was doing my head in, and those bloody cops popping past our house was just a nightmare. Then Mum looking like she was carrying tissues. And my daughter not being safe in my arms (although, clearly she was safe in their arms instead). BLOODY HELL!


Yet here I am on Sunday night, still safe with my love ones safe too. You can't live your life expecting shit to happen....because who knows when it will happen. I only know that it will happen eventually. Because we can't all live forever. And people near and dear to us do pass away from tragic sickness, old age, and shocking accidents. But expecting these things to happen doesn't bring them into fruition. Expecting them not to happen won't protect me from them either. All I can do is ride my feelings as they come and just know that when these moments do arrive, I hope to have the courage to weather those storms, and be a pillar of strength to others around me when their storms roll in.

My nerves are shot. I'm going to bed.


Ciao for now,
LG, Life's Great!

A Not-So-Frequent Blogger

Hey Guys,

It has become impossible for me to post blogs each week day as I previously enjoyed doing so. I have 2 more weeks with Lucy left until she heads into day care for 3 days a week, so I am going to spend that time with her.

It is my intention to keep writing my blog on a less disciplined time frame, so please keep a look out and read up when you get a chance.

Thanks for continuing to read my thoughts, experiences and ponderings on life.

Lauren xoxoxox

A Truly Astonishing Week - Part 3... Andy!!!

Grieving My Losses

Out of all of the extended Supra family, I've known Andy the longest. I met him when I was 16 at a camp. I think if you had asked us all those years ago if we'd believe we were destined to become besties, I don't quite know what you might have heard us say. It's not because I didn't like him, he was nice enough. But we didn't talk much - probably because he thought I was nuts. Fair assumption. Years later, I met him again around the same time I met Greg - funny that because they lived together for 5 years before Greg moved in with me. And you have never seen a funnier coupling. To this day they are still niggling each other, arguing about everything and laughing at each other, they are a great match made from very similar molds.

So Andy has been in my life for a very long time now and I have watched him over the past few years really establish what interests he'd like to pursue and chase after his goals with such determination and tenacity, that he often renders the rest of us lazy, simply in comparison! This is a man who took up playing football at 34 and can run around the field with the young pups, often putting them to shame. A man who is more competitive than anyone else I know, all you have to do is set the man a challenge and he has already achieved it ten minutes ago....and probably exceeded all expectations. Why so driven? I think Andy is just one of the few people in the world who know that the body can withstand more than your mind allows you to think it can, and he takes it to the limits. His mental strength and perseverance is ridiculous.

I saw Andy's competitive nature again on the back deck of our houseboat...where by nightfall of our first eve on the boat he had caught his 40th carp already! No word of a lie. Albeit they were mostly little ones, but still.....we had only been able to fish since 6pm!!! And I saw it too when he, Micka and Steve set up a makeshift fitness circuit. Andy is one of the fittest guys I know, and he works hard for that label. He doesn't just go to footy training. He also makes sure he runs several other times a week to improve his fitness and skills, and he is very motivated to increase his strength to prevent injuries and just generally get the best out of himself. Steve and Micka play in the same footy team as Andy, so they were all keen to keep up their fitness while away.

So they all suited up (shoes and workout gear) and hit the banks of the river. I did too. Now, I can tell you the stereotypes of people who intimidate me....and footy players are high on that list. But this is Steve, Micka and Andy. So they are less intimidating, but when I was considering taking the opportunity to workout with them or not, I did note the vast difference in our fitness levels, my aching recently weaned boobs and the fact that I'm sure none of them had seen the full force of my red head. But twas the week for throwing caution to the wind and giving everything a go, and I suited up!!! Correction. Was not the week for trying new things. Is now the life for it. I actually left myself wide open for jokes when I announced (after a red wine) at the dinner table that this week was for trying new things and that I would do anything anyone asked of me..........

So we had 5 different stations.
1. A kettle bell swing that looked very alarmingly like you are trying the hump the crap out of it to get it up in the air. All the boys felt it necessary to show me how it worked. I felt rude for watching.
2. Jump ups onto a log. Micka made it look easy enough so when I could hardly coordinate both feet off the ground at the same time and almost stacked it before we even began...so could have given up then. Didn't. Just amended mine to step ups instead.
3. Tricep dips on the log. Easy enough.
4. Another kettle bell exercise that I didn't do, opting for push ups instead (the kettle bell was well above my strength level.)
5. A run along a track. The boys had their track, and I had mine which was about 1/3 or maybe even 1/4 of their distance...but that didn't matter cause it took me approximately about the same time to get my shuffle along my little track as it did for them to pace out theirs.

Here are the strapping young lads...thrusting and planking away. Kat got this pic just before I arrived at workout session. They were warming up.

We worked a few different combos of time, but mostly it looked like 80sec working with 40 sec break to catch your breath...and in your break you could opt to do the plank for fun. After the first circuit I was well red in the face and working hard. My breath was quick and heavy. I was feeling the affects big time already. I pushed through. After the second circuit we all agreed to pop back to the boats for a very quick drink and then straight back into 3rd set. Briefly my mind gave me the option of sitting down next to Greg on the boat and not completing that 3rd. Didn't. And the beauty of the circuit is that you can all work to your own individual level of fitness and strength. So we did. I was encouraged by the boys and their outstanding efforts, and they were proud and impressed with me for what I could do. And by the end, I'm pretty sure we were all sweating, panting, and feeling like we had done our best.

So lets get this straight. I worked out with three fit football players. For fun. And wasn't embarrassed. Actually felt the opposite. I felt like I belonged there, in my group of friends, being active and having a laugh as we go. Encouraging each other until the next break and laughing at Andy when he gagged from his extreme effort. Getting out into the wide world and enjoying every second. Taking opportunities as they are offered. God I was proud of myself.

And I was watching Andy. Not in a weird stalker way. But in an observing awesomeness way. Because he has the most committed training style I have ever seen. And not because he almost threw up. That's gross. But because he just kept going and going. And he was working hard. He was breathing the hardest. Sweating the most. Groaning the most. And we were all working our arses off. But he was the friggin energiser bunny or something! In the rests, where at times we would all fail to plank and stand there sucking in the big ones instead, mostly Andy would be on the ground planking away during his rest periods. Amazing!

But don't you know it when you have worked out muscles that haven't been used in a while. As much as you stretch, you are going to get sorer and sorer. So this is the thing I am most proud of for the week. My workout with the boys was on Thursday morning. My first wakeboarding attempt was that same afternoon! That trying and trying and trying and endlessly holding on as best I can, was with arms that had just worked out with three fit footballers. Those arms that held on time and time again had just been doing push ups and tricep dips just hours before. Those same arms that finally got me out of the water were already weary arms from an awesome session. And I can tell you they were certainly getting stiff by the time I hit the water. Did I care? No! Did I persevere? Yes. And was I the MOST determined person Greg has ever seen behind our boat...even with jelly arms?! YES!

Because I had been watching (stalking?) Andy and I realised as I was floating in the water, mustering the energy to go again, that Andy knows how to get the most out of his body. And I wanted to get the most out of mine too. So I did. And don't forget.....I wakeboarded again the following day. Oh, and don't also forget...I am 40kg overweight. Proud much?

I wanna have that commitment to my life. I want to suck every single thing I can out of every single situation so I not only get the best, but so that I can be the best, and so I can give my best to others. I don't want to just live like it doesn't matter anymore, just a bit willy nilly.And I wanna be fit so that these activities can be even better next time. I am going to own my own wakeboard next summer and get a girly life jacket, not a massive mens one. Mark my words kids. It's going to happen.

I left out an important part of my experience of wakeboarding yesterday, deliberately so I could share it with you today. After my second and more successful wakeboard attempt, the first 60 seconds in the boat were all about how awesome it was. How happy I was. How inspired I felt. And then it hit me strong enough that I felt like crying....from sadness and grief.

I could have had 10 years of this joy. I could have loved it all along. And all these different moments came flooding back of moments that I have not participated, moments of me saying no for no reason. Of me getting fatter and fatter. Of me feeling more and more insecure. I could've punched myself in the throat right then and there. IDIOT! And this is the moment guys. This is the true moment I have been waiting for all along where all of a sudden it clicks. I finally understood what I had been doing to myself and how I had put myself at such a disadvantage in life by missing all this amazingness all along. All the times I could have felt this joy. All the times I could have been proud of my efforts.

I know what you are already rushing to tell me. And you are right. The important part of this story is that I made it this far. But I think it is important for me to grieve my 20s. Yes, I have achieved so much, I have a wonderful life and I am very happy and proud of it, but there was so much more to do as well. I feel I have been only living 70% of the life intended for me for so long now. And I need to acknowledge that and grieve it, because I would hate to just sweep it under the rug and then repeat the same mistake again. I want to focus on it for a while, because it is my wake up call. Life could have been EVEN better than what it already had been. Amazing! And I've had a taste of it and I will not be going back from here kids.

I'm glad I have begun my 40kg challenge, because snowboarding will be so much easier to try when I am lighter and so much stronger. ;)

And Andy? Take a knee, for I have something to say to you. You are a training machine and I have a lot to learn from you. Your encouragement and knowledge has been gratefully received and I intend to continue picking your brain as I travel down this road. Thank you for making something click in me that I never quite understood before. xo

Ciao for Now,
LG, Life's Great!

A Truly Astonishing Week - Part 2...Steve!!!

A true satisfaction - for both parties!

Steve has been one of Greg's main men for as long as I can remember. I actually met them both on the same night, at a friends 18th birthday party. Although Steve thinks we first met a little while later, and his first memory of me is not one I wish to remember and cannot help going bright red anytime he refers to 'when he first met me', because I know he has it wrong and I know what he is thinking. Ka Boom! Embarrassment head explosion!

But despite this discrepancy he has grown to be one of my best male buddies. We have shared many a deep and meaningful conversation about grief, tragedy, sadness, faith, hope, and happiness. He is also one of my favourite drinking buddies (sorry girls, but being twice your size I fail to feel the effects at the same speed as you, frowny face - wish I did though, would be more fun and cheaper!). He is also a musical genius with vocals and the guitar so I love to sing with him whenever I get the chance. He is a caring guy who loves Greg, Lucy and I as family as we do him and his family too. We are a real little family together. In fact, in 2007 when they returned from living 6 months in the UK, Steve and his wife Kat moved in with us for a while. Then you can add in Andy and Amy and you have our little Supra family. Lame name guys! Who calls themselves a Supra family. Well, don't get all carried away...its the brand of the boat we all own together...so it just happened. And yes we have Supra hats, but they were given to us for free!!! For our holiday, Steve was my personal trainer #2.

So as mentioned previously, Steve has been itching for years to teach me how to get up wakeboarding and has been quite confident all along that I would be able to do it no worries! Me? I didn't think so. I had honestly given it my all and I didn't know what I could possibly do that was any different to what I had done before. So after 9 years of rejecting the opportunity to try wakeboarding, and 4 years of actually owning my own part in a very fancy wakeboarding board I made the choice that our houseboat trip on the Murray would be the time. And I don't know what is different now, why I have come to this point. Is it that I want Lucy to grow up taking all the opportunities she is offered and having an awesome time? Is it the hypnosis that I had that makes the excuses fade away once I have made up my mind? Is it the self acceptance that comes with time, making everyone else's opinions of me smaller that my own? Who knows....all I know was that the time had finally come for me to get my moneys worth out of the boat!!!

But it took until day five of our trip for me to actually do it. I knew I'd do it, but I just couldn't seem to line anything up time wise with Lucy's naps and when the boat was heading out. In all honesty, I could have said 'can we go now?' and they would have dropped it all to take me. But I didn't. So on Thursday, I decided it would be the day. Steve, Greg, Lucy and Mon (official blog photographer!) jumped in the boat with me and we all got psyched to give it a good shot! Well, we all got psyched for me to give it a good shot! I was ready! And excited!!! Finally my time had come.

And it must be said that Steve has taught many many many beginners behind our boat how to get up. He knows what he is talking about, and how to convey the message of what you need to do to achieve the purpose, so I was pumped to have him there instructing me. I honestly knew deep down that if I just kept trying for as long as I could I would get it. And so, as with the Stand Up Paddle board yesterday, I have some awesome and slightly ungraceful pics to share with you......check them out! 

 

Alright, so here I am rocking my best wake chick look, whilst telling Steve all the tips I have heard him say over the years to all the beginners. He filled in the blanks and then I was ready to get started. At this point, I was simply excited and pretty sure of myself.

Once I was in, Steve gave me a few last minute tips.... you know, keep hold of the rope and watch out for dirty carp - all the important things you need to know. Clearly, I'm hanging on every word because I wanted so badly to get it right thing time! 

 Steve giving me his words of advice and encouragement...and looking mega cool too.

And that is how quickly each try went! The force on your hands and arms is ridiculous as you try to hang on for dear life to a rope that is trying it's best to yank you out of the water. To make it slightly tougher, it also feels like the entire body of water you are floating it doesn't want to let you go and it resists your every move! And when you are overweight as I am, your arm muscles just don't feel strong enough to hold on. So what do you do? You try again. And again. And again! And then add at least 15 more times in there before you could see me actually getting somewhere. But you know what? 

 

 

I was still grinning from ear to ear. And man I wanted it to happen, I was so not willing to return to the boat, or to this blog without some kind of success!!! I just gritted my teeth (it's alright, there is actually a pic coming up of me doing just that) and tried and tried and tried. We tried different methods, placing weight at different points, moving this way and that. My arms were burning. My palms of my hands were developing blisters because the rope kept snapping out of them. But I just kept thinking, I'll give it another shot. And another. We must have been trying and falling for about 30 minutes at least, before all of a sudden, I was getting closer and closer to getting up. And finally........

 Aaaaaaaaaw..............Lucy fell asleep at this point........

 Hold on one last time Lauren - do not let go....

 Grit those teeth girl but DO NOT LET GO!!! YOU HOLD ON! YOU ARE ALMOST UP!!!

 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'M UP. 

SHIT, WHAT DO I DO NOW!??????

Oh this is what you do! Hahahaha! SUCCESS! Sweet sweet well deserved, long awaited success. And remember yesterday I talked of pure delight. Here it was again kids, absolute delight. And oh my, can I tell you the amazing feeling of being up? Because for all the times I had tried wakeboarding, I hadn't succeeded in getting up, I only knew how it felt to struggle through the wall of water trying to get above it. But let me tell you once I was up, I felt like I was walking on water. I felt completely weightless and free, flying along the top of the water, like I was doing a completely different activity to the one I had been participating in 2 seconds ago. Just then, it was hard, resistance training. But now it was freedom from the resistance, even if it did only last for 10 seconds or so.

Hey, can you see the delight in this pic!? And you know what, the following day I could hardly move. Poor Lucy wasn't feeling well and just wanted to be picked up, so I had to move but let me tell you each time I picked her up I struggled big time. But did I regret it? Not for one single second. And you know what else? I got out that following day and did it all again, except this time....I got up more often than not, and I got to get some more time skimming across the top of the mighty Murray to feel that amazing rush. And I was so pleased that I tried again. Even though I could hardly lift Lucy, I went again. And I was better the second day, and I wakeboarded for further than I thought I would/could and I got to face the board sideways and actually try and learn to find my balance. It was incredible.

And as I was reflecting on my experience with Greg later that evening, he said something I will forever hold dear to my heart....'Bub, you are the MOST determined person I have ever seen behind our boat. You just don't give up, and you weren't getting frustrated. You just kept going and going'. And he was right. I was going to give it everything I had in me to make it work cause I wanted it so badly. And am I proud of myself, and so glad he saw that determination in me too, because he too was so proud of my efforts.  

And now? I can't wait til I get out and give it another go. I honestly never understand why Greg and our friends enjoyed wakeboarding so much, when all I saw was their injuries....why would you want to do something you constantly hurt yourself in? Well, their injuries are actually rare, and I see now how much fun it can be. And I am just itching to get out there and do even better than I did last time! And I love that I gave it a shot and I am grateful Steve can teach people so well and see exactly what needs to happen. You know, it was the smallest thing that needed changing. Because when he saw me try the first time he said I was already almost there. And from that moment, he relaxed in confidence of my ability, which made me relax too. 

So Steve, thank you for helping me, encouraging me and celebrating my win once we got past that stupid other boat. I owe you a beer. Or a red. Or something else enjoyable over a dinner with our lovely families. 

Oh and guys, I'm not finished....because I have EVEN MORE to share with you tomorrow. 

P.S Great work on the pics Monica Imrie!

Ciao for now! 

LG, Life's Great!

   

A Truly Astonishing Week - Part 1...Micka!!!

A Turning Point In My Life....

There are moments in my life that have caused me to feel pure and unadulterated delight. The delight a child feels on Christmas morning, the pure happiness and glee that lights up their eyes and makes them talk about it for days, weeks, years to come. Finally delivering Lucy into the world was pure delight. Hearing Greg say he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, pure delight. Hearing that my best friend had come through a risky surgery with flying colours and to later hear that they had got all the tumour...PURE DELIGHT!

These precious moments have been far outweighed though, by moments of insecurity, fear and embarrassment. And I could spend the rest of this week talking about all of those moments, because there is always one more story about how I was too scared to try something new, too afraid to hurt myself and too embarrassed to look like a clumsy idiot. But I won't.

Because I have delicious stories of pure delight to share with you this week! Stories that I will hold dear to my heart forever for many reasons! Tales of bravery and success beyond my own belief (albeit possibly within your belief!) and of support and encouragement like no other.

And I don't quite no where to start....or how to write it up. So I want to begin by telling you about my good friend Micka who I have known for 10 years now. Micka and I have always gotten on well and laughed our way through many a conversation together, we have a lot in common. He is a musical genius on the drums and has a great singing voice too. He is also my recent inspiration...he has lost approx 30kgs and changed his whole lifestyle very successfully to become what he wants it to be. A healthy, active life full of activities for him and his family, a well balanced career and he still seems to have time to encourage me in my own challenge to achieve the same. And not just me. It's in his nature to help and encourage everyone! So if you can't tell, I love this man - he is a dear friend and I feel like sharing a little praise. For my holiday, I consider Micka to be my personal trainer #1.

Now, do you realise how far it is to Mildura...when most of the Riverina is in flood? It took us two days of good solid driving with three babies plus three boys in four different cars but we finally got there. And it was like summer! The weather was hot, the water was beautiful, the houseboats were lovely and the flood waters wouldn't be arriving until we were long gone. So it was time to play! I was ready to try the Stand Up Paddle Board.

Oh but hold on...that isn't what happened first! I forgot to mention that during Micka's amazing personal transformation he had learnt a barefoot running technique that he wanted to show me, because I had been asking for tips in increasing my jogging endurance. Now, it is important to mention that on day one of our trip I dropped that final feed with Lucy and stopped breastfeeding completely. So by the 2nd day of our trip, the last thing I felt like doing was give them a good shake up. But he convinced me it'd be worth my while and so I did something I never thought I would ever do. I put on my joggers (and my jogging bra!) and we went up onto the bank where he had a look at my running technique (70 yr old shuffle) and we worked on it for five or ten minutes. And people on both my boat and Micka's were watching us as they fished off the back. And I DIDN'T CARE! I was more interested in getting help to further my capabilities than to worry about anything they might be thinking. But if I was a fly on the wall, I bet everything they were saying was only positive, because that is who my family and friends are.

On the 4th day, Micka and I finally found a time that was convenient for me to give the Stand Up Paddle board a go - and I have some very unglamourous pics to prove it! His wife and my good friend, the beautiful Mon is a bit of a fancy photographer, so I employed her as my official blog photographer for the week so I could report back in accurate style. Now, I can tell you I'm sure it felt way more graceful than what you will see here, but I am friggin proud of myself for giving it a great shot on my first go, getting up on the board with Micka's assistance and paddling down the river and back most of the way...until I fell off again! I certainly got wet...and there was a great deal of laughter. But man, I am just so proud of myself for achieving goal number one and actually being better than I thought I would be at it!

So the rest is history...but fortunately I have pictures for you! I hope they bring you pure delight too! And yes, I realise they aren't the most attractive pics of me, but you know what...I do not care. For they are here to share with you a pivotal moment in my life, and one of the most enjoyable experiences of my holiday! Thanks Mick and Mon for such a fun moment in time!

A little bank tuition beforehand always helps, Mon thinks I got way more info than she did on her first go, but I told her that is probably because he was more concerned with my ability than hers ;)

 

So I asked him to give me a demo of how to do it...this doesn't look like a fake fall at all!

 

 

Here I am feeling very safe and secure on the board, like every other time I've been on a board (never!), ready to give this a good shot! Eeeeeek! 

 

 

And off I go, after paddling a little way on my tummy, I managed to scoot myself up onto my knees. Now, even that is quite difficult you know, your every tiny move sends the board rocking this way and that way, so every action requires a counter balance and deep concentration. Paddle paddle paddle.

 

Deep concentration.... or a deep fall into the might Murray River!!! Whoops! Hehehe! I have never laughed so hard trying to do something. I didn't feel stupid once, just laughed it off and tried again. Let me tell you, to the first time I tried to get back onto the board, I thought it was over before it began. I could hardly lift myself up onto it, but I got it eventually, and it got easier and easier the more often I did it.

 

Hehehehe, oops, sorry Micka! Although, I told you he has been working out. LOL! Use the force Loz!  

 

ALRIGHT! Let's try getting up onto my feet, shuffle shuffle shuffle, remember to counter balance and stay steady......

 

 

Whoops! And she's in again. Face plant into the Murray.

 

 

Hold on a second, I was standing a minute a go....and now I'm on my butt!!!

 

 

It was a laugh a minute at this point! Into the drink I go again!

 

 

Micka offers a lifeline just as I was getting weary from all my falling, and helps me stand while he holds the board to allow me to get my balance on my feet.  

 

And I'm OFF!!! And just as Micka promised, the fast you are going the easier it is to stay balanced....like a bike. It is the best feeling paddling away downstream, but man you use all the muscles in your whole body every single second of the time you are up. You are constantly balancing, overbalancing, righting yourself and doing it all again. Talk about an intensive yet fun workout!  

 

Wooohooooooooooooo! Look at me go! I was yelling all the time by this point, cheering myself on and loving it! 

 

That's our houseboats on the side, I even let go of the paddle with one hand to wave to Lucy when she and Greg came out to cheer me on from the back deck with all my other buddies too.

 

 

Oh there are our houseboats...and the paddle board. Hmmmm, I am just out of this shot after stacking it again.

 

And one for the camera!?

And to finish the event in perfect style, grace and poise! So much fun and so pleased I tried it, event though I wasn't sure I'd be able to do it. I surprised myself and a few others and was so excited by the whole experience that it taught me to just give things a go, you never know what you might be capable of. 

Ciao for now!
LG, Life's Great!

Hobby Audition #2 - WATER SPORTS!

Pack the life jacket honey, I'm giving it a go!

Ever since I met Greg he has owned a water skiing/wakeboarding boat. In fact, he is now on his 3rd since I met him, with each boat more beautiful than the next. And when I say owned, he has owned part of these boats. At the moment, we share our lovely boat between us and two other couples...and it works perfectly. If any of those couples owned it exclusively, we would all still be first on the invite list to go and spend some time on the boat, so it makes sense for us all to go in together.

So let me count back the years....I think I met Greg in 2002, and I probably had my first boating experience at early 2003. So that's 9 years that he and his buddies (boys and girls alike) have been wakeboarding around me. And 9 years ago, I decided that it was just too scary for me to try...I could get hurt! Actually, I was more worried about embarrassing myself in front of my friends, and Greg once I fell for him, that I didn't have the balls to give it a go. No way!

And Greg, bless his heart...he accepted me for who I was and never pushed the point. He was happy that I came to watch him and to hang out with our friends, so there was no need to pressure me into something I didn't want to do. But I kinda did want to do it. I just felt that as each year flew by, it was too late for me to do it. How could I be a beginner, trying to get up and they were all advancing so well and riding very capably!

Until Summer 2009 when I threw caution to the wind, bought myself a life jacket and told Greg I would give it a go. Now, lesson number one is this.....if you want to learn something, your spouse is rarely the best teacher. Greg is one of the best wakeboarders in the group, so he knows his stuff well....but ask him how to get up. He hasn't had to focus on getting up out of the water for 9 years, so when he was trying to teach me, he couldn't understand how I wasn't getting it. And I was getting frustrated with him, because I finally got the courage to give it a go and I was not getting anywhere. And let me tell you I gave it an awesome go. I didn't give up...not once. I was Miss Determined. Or The Little Engine Who Could (n't). Greg and my dad ended up calling it a day and I was sacked from board riding for the afternoon. Boooooo.

My disappointment was hard to bear but I still held hope that perhaps Steve would be able to coach me into standing up. He is our boat's natural wakeboarding tutor. He seems to be able to describe it more accurately to someone who has no idea. And when he heard I had tried it without him there, he begged of me to let him teach me, to give it another shot. And I considered it. But then Greg's brother John came to try it, and he couldn't get up either. They called him the submarine. Instead of popping up, he sank into the water further and further each time. It was kinda funny. Poor John! So if John couldn't do it, what hope did I have? So no thanks Steve, I will not take you up on your offer. But lesson number two is this....don't give up after your first go!!!

And so here I find myself in 2012, writing a blog about having the courage to try something you have always wanted to do, about finding a hobby, about just giving it a go. About having a healthy lifestyle, about ignoring old excuses and forgetting your insecurities........

And I also find myself packing for a houseboat trip along the Murray River for a week, from this Sunday. Along with the houseboat that we will stay on, we are also taking our wakeboat. You get what I am getting at, don't you? It is TIME! After I started this blog, Steve was around one afternoon helping Greg do something boat related, and I told him. I said 'Steve, I am going to let you teach me to wakeboard'. And with those 11 words, I committed myself to this extremely exciting (terrifying) cause without any further consideration.

And so, last night as I began packing, I say to Greg - 'Honey, make sure you pack my life jacket this time, I told Steve I'd give it a go'. And Greg says to me 'Bub, we always pack it, just in case you decide to give it a go'. All this time, they were all just waiting for me to come around to this decision myself, but all had complete faith that I would if I wanted to. I love this unassuming inclusion, with no pressure whatsoever!

Oh, and it doesn't stop there....

Steve's brother Micka (also holidaying with us) owns a Stand Up Paddle board which I have been itching to give a go. He is going to teach me how to balance and paddle against the mighty Murray river, and get me well red in the face, I'd say. I hear it's an awesome workout and I can't wait to let you know how that one goes!!!

I can't wait to show you all some pics of my attempts at these new hobbies - no matter how embarrassing they may look. I want to show you that I am committed to having an active life, trying things I have previously been too scared too, and that I no longer care what anyone else things of me (well, am working on that last one).

Because those little voices in my head have quietened down a lot lately and I no longer have them telling me all the reasons I shouldn't do something. I only have myself saying that I want to. And so I will. 

Watch this space kids, the 40kg challenge has only just begun!!! 

See you again on the 19th March. 

 

Ciao for Now, 

LG, Life's Good!

The Charmed Life Strikes Again!

It will all fall into place at the right time....

People have argued why things happen for many thousands of years. They credit God for the good and Satan for the bad. Or perhaps they blame God for the bad too. Or they say the universe has provided to them the very needs that they put out there for the universe meet. Others believe in fate and luck. Some believe you make your own luck in life.

I think I prescribe to all of the above when I consider my life and the way I live it. I do thank God everyday for my blessings, however informal those thanks are voiced. When I look around and see the gifts and blessings in my life, I feel humbled and grateful that I have been seen as worthy for such riches. I am grateful EVERY SINGLE DAY for Greg and Lucy in my life, for my amazing and wonderful family and my very dear and valued friends. I actually am. Not one day goes by when I don't realise it could have been so very different.

I also believe that I expect my life to be a certain way and so far I have been granted such wishes. Is this me putting out to the 'universe' what I want for my future and the universe ensuring it happens for me? I was talking with my mum about this a little while ago. I was saying how lucky we were to have such an easy baby in Lucy. She replied with an interesting observation... that maybe regardless of Lucy's temperament, we would have always thought she was an easy baby because we were simply grateful to have a healthy baby at all, regardless of behaviour, sleep patterns, or crying. That in comparison to others who have a lot less, none of that stuff would have troubled us and we have always thought we were the lucky ones. Hmmmmmmm.

And it's funny as life happens. Greg and I decided well before we got married that we wanted to have some significant time together before we started our family... to do a little growing up of our own before we became responsible for anyone else. I was 22 when we married, Greg 23, so we were indeed just kids in love. We enjoyed those first 5 years, buying a house, travelling both alone and with friends, and just generally living a good life! But when the agreed time came, our plan fell straight into place and all of a sudden we were gifted with Lucy. And this is the part that I feel must be God.... because I can't believe that just setting your mind to something makes it happen. Are you telling me that wanting to fall pregnant, managing to carry that baby to full term, and then having a healthy child, that all just happened because I willed it into fruition? Why is it then that some couples want children so badly and struggle to make that dream come true? Were they not sending enough good vibes out into the universe? I don't quite think that is the answer.

But to some degree, I also believe you create your own destiny or life path, by making your own choices. You aren't just a victim to a life that is happening to you. You can take an active part in it, and should be expected to do so. Speaking of work the other day, I mentioned I enjoyed climbing the ladder, and successfully winning higher positions. These are the moments in my life when I find myself taking an active role - taking control of my career and trying new roles. I have put myself strategically in the right place to be discovered by my next boss, or to make the right contacts for my next workplace each time I have progressed...and I win my roles because I have a reputation I am proud of. So I don't just feel that this is to be credited simply to luck or to God, because I made a lot of that happen. 

I also believe in fate and pure luck. The earliest time I remember feeling lucky was when I won a colouring competition in Kindergarten! I couldn't believe that my picture was the best one!? AWESOME! This was my first taste at winning random things! After that I developed an attitude of 'well, why shouldn't I win it?' and took on Lake Tabourie Christmas holiday bingo with great gusto! Once, I won a minor prize and I chose a massive jar of Vegemite. WINNER! Other times, I made the more economical choice of the meat tray, which I'm sure my parents preferred.

I think it was a mixture of all of these ideas when I got the call yesterday afternoon from a day care centre, telling me I had won the lotto and scored Lucy 3 days, starting the 2nd week of April. The very same week I am due back at work! Oh my stars, I almost danced an Irish jig in my kitchen when I heard this news! Because if you know anything about the current day care situation...it is dire! And believe me, if our mortgage would just pay itself, I'd happily stay home with Lucy until I chose to do something else...but it's back to earning the big bucks for me (at least, I think they are the big bucks). We had been offered positions in January, but had made the choice not to accept because Lucy just wasn't ready yet (neither were we). And with that, we went into trust mode, just assuming that when the time came, something would come up, as it so often has in my life. But as the time drew closer and closer to my supposed return date to work in April, we were becoming more and more anxious about what would happen. And then the phone rang. And our gamble yet again paid off.

But was it luck, or was it my persistent calling every fortnight to show my interest. Was it a logic thing, as I was calling 16 centres each fortnight, so surely one of them was going to come through. Was God looking out for us? Were we honoured for our faith in the situation? Or was the universe paying us our dues of what we expected to happen?

Yet it works both ways....as I then considered who I'd like to blame when the injustices of the world happen. When friends are fighting for their lives, when you lose someone dear to you, when people are persecuted for being different. Surely it can't simply be their bad luck, or God punishing them? I can bet it isn't the universe giving them what they asked for.

I call my life the Charmed Life. It's not to say its all been easy, I have experienced some absolutely devastating and very damaging times in my life that are just too personal to write about here. But I feel that I have been lucky enough to find love early in life, be blessed with a child, put myself in a stable career, and be surrounded by amazing people. I feel like the most bless, luckiest and rewarded girl in the world!

Although I believe in God, I can't say I am on that bandwagon 100%. Because I too believe in self drive, shit happening, and pure luck.

Ciao for Now,
LG, Life's Good!

A Forgetful Wonder

You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached!

Every year on my school report, my teachers consistently commented on 3 things. The first and most common was something along the lines of 'Lauren talks too much in class'. I am pretty sure this has also been indicated to me during work appraisals...within the past few years! Obviously didn't learn that lesson. The second normally stated something along the lines of 'Lauren can be distracting to other students'...meaning that when I was talking too much (see point #1), it was to the detriment of my fellow classmate's education. And when my fellow classmates were trying their best to concentrate, I would be there in the ear, whispering much more interesting stories. Magically though, even though I was so busy talking and distracting, I still managed to pick up enough to pass through school and occasionally even do well, depending on the subject and how interested I was.

These two statements on my reports weren't actually that bad. I tried my best to convince my parents that they were actually qualities that would help me in life. An ability to communicate with many, a way with words, an influential style. But the third statement, I hated seeing that written down again and again and again.

Lauren needs to be more organised. She often forgets her homework, her permission slips and her textbooks. 

Or something to that nature. Year after year after year. And did I ever learn? No! And it wasn't that I had been deliberately rebellious and had decided not to complete any homework...it was actually that I had truly forgotten it was even there. I didn't ever have any kind of excuse planned, because it wasn't until the teacher asked for it that I remembered there was even anything to be done! I actually think that I still have an overdue music assignment, because I just kept forgetting it. Oops!

You know that feeling you get when you ask someone for the time, and then fail to listen so you need to ask again in two seconds? And they look at you incredulously because they had literally JUST told you!? I get that look all the time. Poor Greg (so many of my sentences in my blog start with Poor Greg) gives me this look when I ask him for the 2nd time in five minutes how work was today. 'You just asked me that!?' 'Oh! Did I? I wasn't sure if I had asked it out loud, or if I just thought to ask it.' I called my mum just last month to ask her if she was on the Ghan train holiday she had planned....but she told me, for what was probably the hundredth time, that her holiday was in July and she was simply at the coast. Oops again! The people in my life must suffer terrible frustration.

So, why don't you buy a note book or a calendar so you can write this stuff down, Lauren? I HAVE! I have spent so much money on little pocket calendars, diary's and notebooks, personal organisers, whiteboards, and pin boards....my biggest problem is that then you have to learn to use them! I can't even remember to use my phone calendar properly. Again, I find myself needing to apologise to all who I have stood up over the years, and also to those I have double booked. My apologies, I was born this way and am struggling to change!

It has reared its ugly head recently because Lucy's pram has a few little flaws that need ironing out and I have been putting it off again and again...only to finally realise that I have put it off too long: it is no longer covered by warranty!!! Grrrrrrr! Why oh why didn't I sort it out when I originally noted these issues, back in September. What on earth was I waiting for? A miracle to heal my pram? Someone else to do it for me? Why do these administration tasks seem so scary and overwhelming to me?

I can get up in front of 500 people and sing. I can teach a room of 20 adults for a week and I can write a five day a week blog for all to see. But I struggle to file our household paperwork. I can't stay on top of the important dates in our foreseeable future, and I wish someone else would look after all the forms you have to complete when you want the Government to help you pay for childcare.

But as always, I think the answer is simply to do it. I do feel better when I have done the filing, almost like I require a pat on the back or a little badge that says Happy Little Filer! I do like feeling organised and knowing when I have plans in advance before that reminder pops up the morning of said event. I certainly prefer to have items fixed within warranty time frames. I'm kicking myself for that situation.

But still I resist. Because secretly I fancy the idea of living like a hippy, of throwing caution to the wind and living day to day.  

To those of you out there who enjoy filing, I will never understand you.

Ciao for Now, 

LG, Life's Good!

I Know Best.....You Don't.

The judgement that comes with becoming a new parent...

Years ago, I developed an idea of what kind of mum I would like to be. During my work as a nanny, I saw so many differing styles, that it more grew into a list of what I didn't want to do/be. I didn't want to spoil my child. I didn't want to encourage hurtful or whiny behaviour. I wanted an active child, rather than pass on my previous bad habits of eating poorly and exercising too little. I wanted to teach my child to be resilient, physically and emotionally.

As the years have passed, we have had several close friends have children and we have observed their parenting skills and styles with a keen eye, learning from them so many wonderful things. Like taking the child away from public ears to discipline them, so they don't have to lose face or be embarrassed. Like letting your kids stay up for special occasions, even though they will pay for it the next day. Like teaching your children their voice is important and that we will listen to them, but to not interrupt.

And of course, then Greg and I would talk about how we grew up and what we liked about our childhood and what we didn't. I liked that both my parents have always told me and my siblings how much they love us. They are openly affectionate and vocal about their feelings, and as a result I, too, am very expressive. Greg loves the time that he spent with his parents, learning about the circle of life on the farm, developing his amazing work ethic and determination to do something the right the first time instead of cutting corners. We both love going on family picnics.....but what we didn't realise was this can mean something completely different, depending on which family you came from.

It was several years ago now, on a lovely sunny day...one of the rare weekends when we didn't have anything booked on the Saturday. Greg suggested we pack a picnic and go and find a nice place by the water. In my mind, I had us placed at the Cotter - a family favourite of mine for as long as I could remember. Or maybe Point Hut Crossing? Either way, I was going to enjoy a 30 minute drive through the scenic Canberra outskirts and we would set up our picnic and lie around talking of our future together, cuddling and kissing until our hearts were content.

Instead, we packed our picnic and jumped in the car and hit the road. As Greg was driving this time, he thought he might take me somewhere new so I had to delete above expectations of locations, and wait and see. And we drove and drove.....and drove. Greg took me along winding country roads and we checked out the new wind farm they had set up out near Bungendore (at least I think that is where it was). We kept driving so we could go and see what 'they' (whoever they were) had planned for the mine near Tarago. And then we continued driving because Greg couldn't quite remember how far along the road we needed to go to get to the location he had in mind. To understand the context, you must know that I skipped breakfast that morning, that we had now been driving for at least TWO HOURS and I had expected to have eaten my lunch and be in the spooning position by now on a picnic rug in a shade of a beautiful tree. I did not expect to be still sitting in the car at this stage, looking at one boring country town after the next, ready to eat my seat belt if it didn't end soon!

Does anyone else get cranky when they are hungry? I get cranky and then extremely sarcastic.

G: They are talking about starting work in this mine again.
L: Great. Maybe we can move to Tarago so you can work here....it seems like a happening place. Can't think of anywhere I'd rather be!

G: Now, I can't really remember where the turn off is, so we might have to go this way and see, and what's the worst that happens? We have to come back and try the next one?
L: Yes, lets try all these little turn offs, because who knows where we might end up - in fact, lets keep driving for the rest of the day. At least then we won't have to put the picnic blanket down and cuddle each other!

Poor Greg. Here he was showing me the best sights Australia has to offer within driving range of Canberra and here I was wishing we were already there (2 hours ago!). In his mind, this is what you did when you went on a picnic....you checked out everything that was going on, and you went to investigate all the little nooks and crannies. By the time you got to your picnic, you pretty much only had time to eat and then you came home. Me? I thought he was being romantic. Frowny face. I thought he wanted to lie by the water somewhere for hours on end, discussing all things Lauren and Greg, and playing 'how will we spend our lotto millions'. Actually, he wanted to go near water so he could see if the water flow had risen from recent rainfall. Ah, how our expectations differed so!

It turned out to be a beautiful picnic after all and we both got what we wanted. But this is just one example of how we both thought our way was the best way, and it's the same with parenting.

The best thing about 2011 was that we were among several of our friends and families to have babies. The hardest and most wonderful part of it all, is that we have to resist the urge to compare the babies, or our parenting styles. It is a rich tapestry of so many families coming into play, with each mother and father coming from a different place, with different expectations, and with differing opinions of the importance of each moment. Each of the couples chooses what suits them best, and the other couples are respectful in acknowledging that of course we all work differently. And it's not just because of our own experiences but also because each of our children are completely their own person too.

I'm sure most parents think they have done a great job of raising their child, and wish to share with the world how savvy they are. So within our little group of family and friends, I think we have all struck an unspoken agreement to simply respect each others styles and leave it at that. No one couple is right....we all are right in our own little families, figuring it out as best we can and learning as we go. And I am learning lots from all the beautiful mothers around me, and I hope they learn a little from me too.

As for my parenting style? I am very much a laid back parent. I can't stop watching my daughter all the time and am so proud of all her little achievements. I let her fall when it is safe to do so, and try and catch her when I can see she may hurt herself. I try and let her have free roam of the house now that she is on the go, but block off the rooms I wouldn't like her to play in without me. I feed her all types of foods, but am watchful of her intake to ensure she is getting enough. I let her settle herself to sleep, but if she becomes distressed I go to her and calm her down again. I let her play with almost everything she can reach as long as it is safe and I leave her to her own devices (in our safe house) so I can hang out the washing.

That is the kind of parent that I am. It is right for Lucy. When the next comes along I may need to adjust myself to suit. But what I have worked out here may not apply to anyone else's child, so unless I am asked, I try my best not to advise others. And all the other parents I know are also doing an awesome job for their children. Because all the little babies I know are happy, healthy, active and engaged little people who couldn't be better, even if you tried.

So next time I try to give you unwanted advice, please forgive and forget it. I know you'll ask if you want it.  I just think I've so much to share of all the things I have learnt about Lucy, I occasionally get carried away.
 

My most fulfilled role yet...Lucy's mum. xoxox

Ciao for Now, 

LG, Life's Good!

Entertaining/Oversharing!

Um, that is quite personal, don't you think?

I make friends by telling them my life's story. If I like you, I will then keep you amused with funny little stories of recent events, and amusing memories of times gone by so we can better get to know each other. When you ask me on a Monday morning what I got up to at the weekend, I will always have a story for you. It is rare that you will get a one word answer from me. And along with my stories and memories, you too will normally add your experiences and laughs, and so a friendship develops based on sharing, laughter and honesty. Okay, well occasionally it isn't completely honest....there may be a little enhancement of ones story to make it a little funnier, but who doesn't love a little exaggeration?

So I feel I have always been an open book. If I am struggling with something, most likely you will hear about it. I am not one to internalise anything but I prefer to flesh it out with at least 20 people before I finally figure out the answer to my problem, or find acceptance in a situation I can't change. It's my process of coping. It's why they say communication is one of my strengths. Perhaps discretion and privacy may be my weaknesses? But that is my choice, because normally I am sharing about my own life, my own issues, my own experiences and my own opinions.

I love holding the lime light, making people laugh as I regale them with dramatic events (see blog #3 re getting stuck in revolving door) or the weekend's happenings....like the time I had a girls night in our first home as a married couple. I sent Greg out for the evening and I had about 12 girls around, to eat delicious treats and talk girly stuff. We did facials and our nails, and of course had pillow fights in our underwear (yes boys, that really happens - please read in my most sarcastic tone). And as the night continued on and drinks were had, one of the girls revealed she had recently become a piercer. Is that what you call someone who can pierce people, in their ears, belly buttons, nose and anywhere else you might choose? That night, 11 girls got some kind of piercing done. And much to our horror and amusement, Greg came home right at the end of the shenanigans, as Evelyn leaned over me on the bed, and all the girls were crowded into our bedroom like a little private show....'What the hell is going on here!?' Cue all girls to dissolve into giggles and try explaining our way out of a sticky situation....'Oh no Greg, it isn't what it looks like. She is just piercing Lauren's belly button! We all got piercings tonight' - cause clearly that is the better option??? Ah, my piercing party. Fun times!

It isn't really a surprise to many who know me that I am so frank and honest in this blog of my life, because I simply am this way in person anyway. I suppose the only difference is that in person, I can choose to tell you these stories or not. I can choose to get to know you, or I can choose not to share myself with you. But the blog shares regardless. Obviously, I don't mind or I wouldn't be writing such intimate details.

Yet, even I have my limits. You won't hear me talk on this blog about a decision I made that has had a great burden to bear. You won't hear me discuss losing the most precious family member who we didn't have long enough with. I will never share with you about the intimacy's of the bedroom, or about the parts of my past that I believe are someone else's fault, or how I struggle to forget those who have emotionally hurt me for many years. The reasons that I don't tell these stories are because they don't just belong to me. They are also the stories of those I love and I don't own the rights.

So even though it seems to be a tell all exclusive on my life, there are limits to what is too precious to my heart for the entertainment of others. I have my own standards to uphold. But often as I post another honest and completely open blog on my feelings, my experiences, or my life generally, I smile because I am sure so many of you out there may be reading along slightly incredulously, that I have yet again let it all hang out for the world to see (read!). Friends and family have commented on my blog, calling me courageous and brave. I laughed. I am simply sharing with the world the stories, ideas, experiences and memories that I think will be entertaining, that I want to talk about!

Because I have come to a point of realisation in that people judge me already, whether they know this stuff or not. Perhaps this is a way to become more understood. Perhaps I just enjoy writing about myself, because I feel I have a lot to give. And maybe I know others out there will benefit from my honesty, will actually be grateful to know that someone has felt the same way, that there is someone speaking their truth too. So many people have reached out to me after I have posted a blog, thanking me for understanding what they have been through. Many people have even asked me if the blog may have been about them? I can tell you most blogs are about me and what I have discovered and feel I need to share with the world.

If my blog has people talking about their real issues, then this blog has already achieved more than I could have possibly hoped. I actually just wanted to tell a few stories and keep an online journal of sorts in the beginning, about my quest for a hobby and about life in general. If people are braver because they see they are not alone, or they see me trying to be courageous too, then I am delighted! And if people realise that there own insecurities, fears and embarrassments can be forgotten, forgiven, and conquered, then we are all in this together.

 

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Ciao for Now, 

LG, Life's Good!